Wondering
by Ashily
Summary: [OneShot] Edward wonders about Kim... and himself... and life in general.


**It's my first Edward Scissorhands one-shot. I have another one in the process, but this one is manly internal. I used the lyrics from Iris by the Goo-Goo Dolls because... I dunno. Anyways, I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: Do I look like I own anything? No.**

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_And I'd give up forever to touch you_

Where was Kim? Edward wondered. He wondered everyday. And never did any of his magnificent creations answered. They stood in silence, smiling down happily. Their world was just smiling happiness. They couldn't be any other way. Unless he wanted them too. But he didn't. He liked them happy. He wanted them to be happy. Just like he wanted Kim to be happy.

Cause I know that you feel me somehow

In all his dreams she was there. Peg was in them sometimes, occasionally Kevin. And only in his nightmares was Jimmy. Whenever he had a nightmare he'd go into the garden and talk to his sculpture of Kim. It listened very well. He sometimes wish it would talk back. But he was also glad it didn't. He was afraid. He was afraid it would say something he didn't want to hear.

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

He wondered if she'd died. He hoped she hadn't, for every year he'd sculpt a block of ice and make snow because he knew it made her happy. And he wanted her to be happy after all. He wanted everyone to be happy. But lately, he wasn't. He didn't know why. He felt like he did when Jimmy came to talk to Kim after the robbery. He felt angry, and sad. But mostly sad. Where was Kim?

_And I don't want to go home right now_

_Snip, Snip._ He trimmed the hedges dutifully. Just like he always did. Because if Kim ever came and the hedges were overgrown she would be disappointed. He didn't want her to be disappointed. He wanted her to be happy that he had taken such care. He wanted her to be proud.

And all I can taste is this moment

He wanted everyone to be proud in what he did again. But no one had come since he accidently killed Jimmy. Cause that's what it was, an accident. He didn't mean for Jimmy to fall out of the window. He just wanted him to leave Kim alone. Still, no one ever came. Not Peg, not Kevin, not Bill, not Kim. No one. He wished someone would, but then some days he was glad they didn't. He was alone again. He kind of liked that, but he still missed living with Peg.

_And all I can breathe is your life_

Did Peg miss him? Did Kevin miss him? Did Kim? Did Bill? He hoped they did. He missed them. He missed the way Peg always had faith in him, the way Kevin thought his scissor hands were the coolest, the way Bill would always call him "Ed", and most of all he missed everything about Kim.

_Cause sooner or later it's over_

Maybe they weren't coming. They were just going to leave him all alone... Maybe he really didn't matter to them. Maybe Kim had gotten married, and Kevin had gone to college, and Peg and Bill lived happily ever after. Just like Snow White and her Prince Charming. And Sleeping Beauty and her Prince Charming. And Cinderella and her Prince Charming. Maybe tomorrow he'd make Cinderella and Prince Charming. He hadn't made people in a long time...

I just don't want to miss you tonight

He knew he wasn't Prince Charming, but Kim loved him, didn't she? She said she did... but people lie. Evil people lie a lot. Joyce lied. But Kim wasn't evil. Kim was nice. Kim wouldn't lie, she was nice... then he remembered breaking into Jimmy's house. Maybe she wasn't so nice.

_And I don't want the world to see me_

He'd thought so often of going down and seeing her, but whenever he tried he'd hear them. All over again. They'd yell at him. "Freak! Monster! Demon!" And he'd get scared. He didn't want to be a monster. So he'd stay at the castle. He'd talk to his ice sculpture of Kim, because it listened best. And then he'd feel better. He'd feel happy. He liked being happy.

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

He climbed the steps, one by one, up to his ice sculptures. They listened best. He was feeling lonely, he was always feeling lonely. But sometimes it was the good lonely. The lonely that you felt when you needed to be alone. He needed to be alone. That's what Joyce said. That he needed to be away from people. He was beginning to think she was right. Maybe he was a monster.

When everything's made to be broken

He looked up at his sculpture, the one of the Swan. It was crying. Edward felt himself start to cry. The Swan was sad. He wanted the Swan to be happy, but now it was sad. So he was sad, because the Swan made him happy. He turned and walked back down the stairs, not even daring to look at Kim's sculpture. If Kim was crying, he would feel awful.

I just want you to know who I am

Did she even remember him? Did she cry when he left? Did he really even... matter to her?

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And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

Tears continued to spill down his face as he trimmed his creations in the garden. Suddenly, everything looked sad. The trees looked sad. The bushes looked sad. The birds looked sad. It made Edward very unhappy. He just wanted everyone to be pleased... but now, everyone was sad. It was like Kim was staring down at him, frowning from above.

Or the moment of truth in your lies

Edward looked down, he was too sad to keep trimming the garden. Instead, he began to walk. Life was such a sad story, you live, you love, you die. Nothing ever goes right. Well, it did for a while. But not always. He wished it would always go right.

When everything feels like the movies

He leaned against the gate. Was Kim out there somewhere? Living the life he had always wished for? Or had she died? Would he ever die? It wasn't likely. No one ever came. His creator once said "And you shall out live us all times a hundred!" When he was bustling around, preparing Edward for his nose. It was only a few weeks later that he didn't wake up... Died?

_Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive_

Was he even really alive? Edward looked down at his scissor hands, he held them up to the sunlight, as if seeing them for the first time. He touched the tip of the blade to his cheek, he close his eyes and slowly dragged the blade down his skin. He felt a little tingle, and then blood. He looked down as blood dripped onto the dirty path, was he alive?

And I don't want the world to see me

He dared to push the gate open, he peered out. But no, he did not leave. He turned back, letting the blood trickled down him and unto the ground. Perhaps another day. He walked back up to the castle, allowing his tears and blood to spill. He opened his mouth, desperate to call out to someone, but his throat would not work, instead he closed his mouth and walked back up the stairs. He dared not look at his creations, for fear they were still crying. Instead he looked out into the world.

_Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

No. He was better off here. Away from everyone. Alone. Because the world was just a mean place.

_When everything's made to be broken_

But then again, maybe she was still out there. Waiting for him. As he waited for her. He looked outside. She was somewhere out there. Waiting. He knew it. He knew that she would never abandon him. He didn't know how he knew. But he knew. And he knew she hadn't lied. She did love him.  
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_

I just want you to know who I am

And as he pushed the gate open once more he murmured softly, "And I love you, Kim Boggs."

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I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am..._

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**Review? Please? Come on, I know I'm pathetic...**


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